My nephew, Curtis McElhaney was lost to us at age 24 by the hand of another on May 28, 2006. He rests at the feet of his father as per his wishes. We are all so saddened by this loss at a time in Curtis’ life when he was so excited about life and his future plans. We were amazed that he had 300 friends listed in his cell phone and that so many showed up at his funeral. His employer was fond of him and many more of his friends are still showing up. Way to go Curtis!!
Curtis had a fondness for watching for signs in life. After his passing, we are all receiving such signs and are truly comforted by them. Thank you Curtis!
Update: I have come to realize that he was able to stay in touch with just about everyone he met and liked. He loved meeting people and wanted to make all them his friends. That explains the 300 cell phone numbers. What an accomplishment Curtis! The phone is now silent and so many wish it could ring again. They are telling me that they pick up the phone to call and have to remember all over again. Some dial it anyway.
Most of his friends knew him only for the fun loving guy he was, but only a privileged few knew him as the Curtis that loved his family, friends, life and God. I don't know if you knew about his tattoo but one year for Christmas that was my present to him. He wanted the Chinese symbol for faith on his back and I thought that was very fitting for him. It's so comforting to know he is in good hands now. I miss him everyday and I still catch myself about to dial his number sometimes. Written by Misty Ferguson.
Written by Karen McElhaney Reeves
This has been a difficult last three months... my stepson Curtis, was killed over the Memorial Day weekend. Another young man shot and killed him near lower Greenville Avenue. That is a call that no parent ever wants to receive. Curtis was 24 years old and finally finding his way in the world. Thank God that He has blessed me with a great job, great friends, and great family who help me get through these tough times.
Additional written by Karen:
When Curtis was 16 years old, he came to live with us in Dallas. When he stepped off the plane from west Texas, he was a handsome young man, starched jeans, and straw cowboy hat and boots. I remember my daughter, Lacey, calling all her little girlfriends and telling them that her good-looking step brother had arrived!
We had our moments!!! He was a typical boy. One of the first things he did when he got to my house was to shave my cat - he gave Harley a reverse mohawk. Needless to say, I was not very excited (or at least not excited in a good way!) I believe that I took all of his possessions and placed them on the front porch!
I remember how important it was for Curtis to finish his high school degree - and he didn't want to just get his GED, he wanted a diploma.... and he succeeded in completing it.
One thing about Curtis that I'm sure anyone who knew him would agree, is that he was never without a phone in his ear. He had a cell phone and would be on it and the house phone at the same time talking to people. I've never seen anything like it.
The other thing is that he had a million girl friends once he got to Dallas. One girl would come over and almost before she left, another one would show up at the door. He had a lot of guy friends too - friendships that lasted over the years. Sonny, Greg, Brandon, Nathan, David, Robert, and so many more. He made a lasting impression on everyone he came in contact with.
He loved his job and the people that he worked with there. Curtis finally seemed to be "finding himself".
He loved his brother, Cheston, and always wanted him to move to Dallas so that they could be closer. Thankfully, Cheston did move to Dallas a few years ago and they were able to reestablish their relationship.
It is so hard for me to believe that someone so full of life is gone. His 25th birthday would have been in just a few weeks (October 8th) - he had finally moved out on his own, had a job, and seemed to be settling down. I thought I would never see that day!!! It is so sad to me that just at the beginning of his adult life, it was cut short.
I have comfort in knowing that he is with his dad again and that we will see each other again one day.
Curtis, I love you and miss you so much.
Karen
I remember Karen telling me the story of when she took Curtis to get his drivers license. She tried to get him to be very serious and not try to put on a cool look. But when she saw him drive by with the instructor, there was Curtis with one hand on the wheel all laid back like Mr. Cool. Needless to say, he didn't get his license the 1st time around. Noni
May 28, 2006. Richard got called into work so I decided to get a head start on the lawn like 6:30am. I remember jumping out of my skin all morning because I kept thinking someone was standing beside me. Then I got that dreadful call from Karen. Curtis had been shot and killed. She could hardly talk and just couldn’t make the call to my Mom. Try to say those words to a Grandmother that has devoted her life to that person. All my Mom could say was “I just talked to him, but I just talked to him.” My Dad hit the road on his motorcycle for hours. Cheston disappeared. When Tom told little Austin he said “This is the worst day of my life” and ran into the house. Sheila couldn’t even talk, couldn’t even get words out of her mouth. So many were just stunned. Cheston trying to call all Curtis' friends on a cell phone that had to be cleaned up first. So so many friends to call and which ones out of 300 numbers?
And then we all start getting our little signs from Curtis. Mine was a sign that said “The Real Noni”. I never thought Curtis had gotten to actually know me but now he had.
My Mom and I had just seen him a few weeks before and he was all excited about a picture a sick friend of his had taken. She thought it was a sign and Curtis loved it. This picture was of an Angel in the clouds. I know Photoshop and I could not see any distinctive lines of a fabrication besides his friend had taken the picture. I remember he had a strong confident force about him and I remember he could look me in the eye. I remember thinking that he is finally finding himself. The Curtis I now know, I wish so much I had gotten to experience him some more. I think he is our Angel now. Written by Noni.
Ok, so I know we think..."Oh that would never happen to me"...but after this weekend, I am convinced, ANYTHING can happen to us. Yesterday @ 9a.m. I attended the funeral of a good friend...Curtis McElhaney. He was 24 yrs. old & had a degree in radiology, an awesome job, & family & friends who loved him dearly.
I have not lived in Dallas for 6 months now, but I still remember EVERY detail of Curtis like it was yesterday. I can still see him, the way he stared into my eyes & even little facial expressions he made. His little comments & jokes trying to lighten the mood. He was a good guy, maybe he had a habit of gettin' in good with the ladies, but hey, almost every guy I know is a little womanizing, now & then.
Yesterday when I walked up to that casket & looked at him, it was like I was back in time thinking..."I hope this moment keeps going". So before we are too quick to say...that won't happen to me or anyone I know, just remember, I thought the same thing about 6 months ago. Written by Jana Lynae
Talking to Sonny Johnson, one of Curtis’ oldest and closest friends, he told me that it was so hard for him to try and write something for Curtis. He said for the longest time he just cried every night about it. It has affected his marriage and they are separating. He is now trying to stop thinking about it so much. He said that what he said at the funeral was what he wanted people to know about Curtis and that is that he was a very spiritual person. Sonny and Curtis have gone through good times and bad, each holding the other up. At one time (per my Mom) they only had one pair of black socks and shared that single pair with each other.
Sonny had told me before that he was so happy that Curtis was working in the same mall with him. He was looking forward to having lunches with him. That Sunday morning he looked down off the level he was working on and could see that Curtis had not yet made it in. He had been invited to come to J Pepe’s with Curtis the evening before but had declined and thought maybe it had been a long evening for Curtis. Written by Noni.
The following was written by Sonny:
I just wanted to say goodbye, to my best friend CURTIS. When I first met CURTIS he was a bright eyed young man. Curtis had a certain zest for life of which the likes I had never seen before. He was the type of guy no matter what, he could do it... He showed me early on that life was what you make it. I remember the first day I met him, he came into the break room where we both worked,and without hesitation he gripped my hand and said CURTIS, CURTIS McELHANEY. After that we clicked, it was like we new each other all our lives. We did everything you could do together. CURTIS, Was a ray of light, to simply describe him.
When I heard the news, I died inside. We discovered our identities together. Without CURTIS, I would not be me... Without me, CURTIS would not be CURTIS... I loved CURTIS, he was like a brother to me. When I heard the news I went numb. I did not believe it. No, no way is he gone. But, He was, and there was nothing I could do. It was the saddest day in my natural born life. I kept thinking why, why him. And then I got a sign. This song came on the radio. "When I get where I'm going". And I knew, he was gone but not forgotten. I miss you bro... I know your watching out for us. CURTIS, was everybody's best friend.
My first born son, Curtis, just like that, in a blink of an eye, gone from my life forever! No words could ever describe or measure the hurt my heart endures. Everyday!! From the moment I open my eyes each morning to the end of that long day as I try to close my eyes at night, my thoughts always go to my baby boy! Whom I’ll never see walk on this earth again!
Then my thoughts go to the pain my entire family is having to endure, so often I cry and wonder why??? I think about the impact Curtis has made on each and everyone that loves and knew him, it makes my heart smile :) ! I can’t count the times that Austin , our ten year old, has asked me, “Mom will we ever play monopoly again?” I smile and say “ Sure we will!”. He says, “Never mine it won’t be the same”. You see, it was our family thing we always shared together every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter or whatever holiday when we were all together.
God, how I remember that dark day on May 28th 2006 when my world fell apart. Austin just sat on the couch and cried, “Mom, this is the worst day of my life!”. I just held him and said “I know baby it’s mine also!”. Austin and my son, Cheston are what holds me together! That along with my faith! I dread each day I’m forced to face without him.
Curtis birthday is on October 8th. All these past years, I’ve had the challenge but the fun decision of finding that perfect gift to buy for him. What color sweater would he like this year? And what new cologne fragrance would he enjoy? Now the only decision I’m forced to make is what color flowers should I choose for his resting place? I miss so many things about our Curtis. His gorgeous smile, that contagious laugh he had, and the text messaging we shared with sayings so often before bedtime. Love you! God bless! And Good nite!
Curtis was taken away from us. But no one can ever take the memories! God keep you! You’ll always be close to our hearts! Mom
Written by Sheila P. Cook 9-23-06Sheila told me she could go on for days but she knew she needed to keep this short. Poor thing, I think she wrote and rewrote her letter about 4 times and finally just asked me to type it up for her from her letter because it was too blotchy to scan. I saved the letter unopened until after my weekend to try and keep myself together to have to type it up. This is all so unnecessary!
I was photographing an event this last week and someone spoke about a child he had adopted. This child reminded me so much of Curtis and Cheston when they were little. This 10 year old was so full of life and had such a winning smile. I had to just about trip myself to keep from taking the loving father (also pastor) aside and begging him to teach his 5 children and all the children in his parish how to defuse a situation. But how do you teach this to young people? I can see a drug addict needing money and pulling a gun on someone but just to pull one to try and win? Win what? This is just all so unnecessary! My heart goes out to this young man and his family too. What must they be feeling? When will my eyes stop leaking?
11/14/08
I guess an update is in order. The Dallas Texas DA was finally able to bring this to a trial a little more than 2 years later. The gunman was found not quilty. All our family and friends are in total shock. His mother and step dad can't seem to get their lives going right. I haven't heard a thing from his brother. We're just stunned. We ask ourselves over and over how someone can leave a scene, go to his vehicle, pull out his gun in a case, load it, go back to the scene, shoot Curtis several times and still be able to claim self-defense.
Recently, I was downtown at the Dallas Police department with a friend of mine on a different matter and he got into discussing this case with the officers. They all wanted to know how the family was faring and told him they were completely stunned too.
On the other hand, I wonder how a person that can do something like this can live their live knowing this. I hope he is able to live a good life spending the rest of it doing as much good as possible. This last June we lost my dad, Curtis' granddad. I don't think I would want that spirit on my case. So I'm not too sure he really got off too easy.
Noni